” We’re a gang of three four.
On a epic cycling trip. “

Augustine Marie Kvasnikoff (Born 2011) – Likes candy and reading, suffers from varying bouts of joy and general insanity (especially while doing math). Can recite from memory great chunks of Jim Gaffigan stand-up comedy specials. Is capable of producing an amazing amount of nose snot and is known to hate brushing her hair or teeth. Has been noted to say outrageous things in questionable grammatical structures – currently struggles with the pronunciation of the phrase “supposed to”. Probably made out of the following components: sugar,  colored m&m coating, giggles, tears and hot dogs.

Ophelia Virginia Kvasnikoff (Born 2016) – A notorious invader of privacy and peace; obsessed with the following things – sticks, ice cream, pine cones, unicorns, and the color pink (or purple). Can tell the same joke without a punchline, in various forms, ad nauseum. Is known to wake up from naps in a foul mood and can produce a scream that, quite possibly, could wake your dead ancestors. She is wanted in 5 western states for being cute while overbearing. You may consider her a princess interested in shoes, clothing, and fairy tales.

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Forest Kvasnikoff (Born 1985) – An Alaskan lucky enough to have landed a Latvian woman. Drinks too much and is the negative Nancy of the operation. Wastes a lot of time worrying and ranting in dark corners about things he has little control over. Haphazard IT technician of the family and the bad parenting cop.